The Responsibility of Self

My first memory of church was of half laying down in a pew to draw on a piece of paper with a pencil. This kept me occupied and quiet while my parents were involved with the service. Next, after the services concluded was the fun. The social hour, an enjoyment of food, talking, and laughter. I often felt this was almost as important as the service, the friendly social interaction of the people.          

A learning of the church service involved the Holy Communion. The minister blessed the bread and wine. Then the people lined up to partake. An important part of this process was each person’s individual perception. The bread and wine, in being blessed had become the body and blood of Christ. Or, the bread and wine being blessed had become symbolic of the body and blood of Christ. Or, an individual was partaking of bread and wine as a part of their communion with the congregation.       

The learning was of the individual freedom of thinking. The thinking of the freedom of choice. The freedom of each person in the thinking of being their own, in their relationship with God, and with themselves.

The church was called The Protestant Episcopal Church in The United States of America. It was formed around 1787. With the revolution over, we separated from England politically and religiously. The purpose of the interpretation of the Holy Communion was to create the freedom of thought needed for each person in becoming their own.    

We were no longer ruled, told what to think and do politically and religiously. We were free. The beginning of the freedom of each person to think and become their own, the beginning of the freedom of self.

My learning to think then began at home and from attending church. A learning of the responsibility of self, to learn. This became my writing. A not always easy process to adhere too.        

Writing what is the value of truth and not being able to answer the question meant a problem. I decided to withdraw from society. I moved to an island off the coast, minimizing my relationships.  

Seven years later I wrote, the value, use, and seeking of truth has a relationship with freedom. I had the answer and direction. I returned to society. At church. I mainly sat and watched.        

When previously attending church, Holy Communion was the first Sunday of the month. That was gone. Replacing it was the Eucharist every Sunday. The freedom of thinking was gone too. Now it was correct thinking. Being one’s own, the freedom of self, the relationship of a person between God and themselves, all became being told.       

This change between freedom and control created an experience. I wrote of it in: The Symbol.                        

Limiting my involvement with Christianity and becoming involved with Judaism enabled me to learn the source of a person becoming their own. That for each person there is a moment in their life to think and decide, to choose the freedom, the responsibility of self in becoming their own. 

If I want myself and my life to be what is good and true, of being my own, then I have to live my life within the limits of what is good and true.                 

© Ernest G Jackson 2022 All Rights Reserved | 558 Words.